Haters, Stop Hating

Note: I’m writing in the first person here, using “I”; this is intentional so as not to push my “shoulds” on you. Know I’m writing for anyone who can relate, and also know, what works for me may not work for you.

Two things prevent us from happiness. Living in the past and observing others. Unknown

Everything about this line is designed to be reminders for myself as I move throughout a day. This all starts with recognizing my triggers, and then my habitual reactions. I have, sadly, triggers that cause me to react with disdain. These triggers are primarily out of jealousy and fear. I might be jealous of someone’s abilities to run super fast, for example, and then I get a surge of some emotion that isn’t really “hate”, but is negative. Similarly, when someone has a strong opposing view, this sometimes triggers my fear they are going to impose their morals onto me which causes a different, but very real, negative feeling in me.

The reminder to “stop hating” is generic. I don’t mean literal “hate”. But I do mean to remind myself to stop the negativity. Reframe what is going on to be, instead, either a positive reaction or at the very least, one that is neutral and working towards healing.

For example: instead of being jealous of the super-fast-runner, I can be excited for them and acknowledge they probably worked really hard to get super-fast.

For example: instead of recoiling in fear around a set of morals I’m morally opposed to myself, I can take a deep breath, and calmly listen and try to understand. Not to agree. But maybe to find some common ground to work with.

It’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. But hate begets hate, and really, there’s enough bad in our world without me individually adding to it, so if this in a small way makes someone feel better, maybe that feel-better will be paid forward and a ripple effect will ensue.

Design discontinued as of September 2023.